Roll Call

I have been trying most of this evening to craft yet another audience-wowing bit of personal insight for the blog. Having now set a precedent for writing these soul-searching devotionals, I suddenly feel some pressure to make whatever I write about sound intensely spiritual and profound.

Today, people, I got nothin'. I’m tired, dry. Empty.

I don’t want to write about what God is doing in my heart because I’m not really sure He’s doing much at the moment – or maybe I’m not letting Him. I desire to hear the Spirit’s voice every day, and on days when I don’t, I am lost, questioning. This past week I have received more than I have given. I am so thankful for the friends who have blessed me in such small but important ways: friends who have asked me genuinely, “how are you doing?;” two students that stayed over at my apartment on different nights both so selflessly washed my dishes for me! Sunday during prayer time with students at the dorm, one girl prayed for me. She truly prayed for my heart needs, and it was such a blessing. In her prayer, she spoke some amazing words of encouragement and thanks for the work that I’m doing at LCC.

I needed to hear those words this week. Tremendously.

I know that our service should be done only with the desire to hear our King say, “well done, my good and faithful servant.” But it is hard to keep on going sometimes if no one around you affirms that, yes, in fact, you are doing a good job, you are making a difference, you are being the kind of example you want to be.

I don’t want this to sound prideful. I think it does. At my core, maybe I’m just an approval-junkie. Then again, we need to hear words of encouragement from our brothers and sisters in the Lord, and that isn’t the same thing as desiring approval. My approval should come only from the Lord, but we are commanded in the Bible to “encourage one another and build each other up.”

So I'm going to ask something weird here. If you are reading this blog, if you log in here and read these ridiculous soul-baring epics, will you take the time to post a comment? I hear in roundabout ways that people like to read this, but very rarely does anyone post a response. Just say hello so I know you're out there. It would mean a lot to me.

Thanks.