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27 April 2008

Application

[Ok, so since in my most recent phone conversation with my mother, she threatened to put an ad in the newspaper in order to find me a date for one of the numerous weddings I have to attend in the next two months (presumably a want-ad conveniently positioned between “Found Dogs” and “Massage Therapist for Hire”), I have no choice but to take matters into my own hands. As I promised earlier, I present the following:]

Application to Be My Wedding Date


Part A: Fill in the Blank

Name ____________________________
(if it’s Bubba, Brock, Cody or any two-word variation along the lines of Billy Bob, continue no further)

Age ____
(between 23 and 37 preferred. Younger and I appear cougarish, older and I feel like I’m dating my uncle)

Availability: _______________________________________________
(days of service requested: May 16, June 8, June 15 and/or June 28 in the Colorado area)

Special Skills: _____________________________________________
(You may elaborate or attach a Resume. And yes, I know all about your nunchuk, bow hunting and computer hacking skills.)

Last book you read well enough to converse politely about ______________________
(Dude, if you say the Bible, you’re just trying too hard and I will see right through it)

Part B: Check YES or NO to the following:

Able to find Europe on a map? YES/NO
(I was going to say Lithuania, but hey, that is asking a bit much, even for Europeans)

Will raise an eyebrow if I have a second piece of cake? YES/NO

Willing to create a diversion while I escape the flower bouquet toss? YES/NO

Will you match my dress? (Periwinkle)
YES/NO

Part C: Musical Taste

Circle the types of music you could be cajoled into dancing to
AND Put a Star next to the types of music you would join me in mocking
(some genres may result in more than one possible answer)

Disco
80s Power Ballads
Celine Dion
Michael Jackson
Country Western
Bluegrass
40s era pop (al la Sinatra, Billie Holiday)
Oldies
Anything from the Dirty Dancing Soundtrack
Zydeco
Soft rock songs about daddies watching little girls grow up
ABBA
EuroPop
Clay Aiken
Swing
NeoSwing
The Chicken Dance

Part D: Essay Answer

In a well-organized and fully developed essay, please discuss the influence of 17th century Welsh metaphysical poet, Henry Vaughan, upon 1980s TV hero MacGyver. Reference to Vaughan’s Silex Scintillans and details of the complete oeuvre of MacGyver’s seven year run is expected for full credit.

One friend I will miss very much...

from Six Recognitions of the Lord (2.)

Lord God, mercy is in your hands, pour
me a little. And tenderness too. My
need is great. Beauty walks so freely
and with such gentleness. Impatience puts
a halter on my face and I run away over
the green fields wanting your voice, your
tenderness, but having to do with only
the sweet grasses of the fields against
my body. When I first found you I was
filled with light, now the darkness grows
and it is filled with crooked things, bitter
and weak, each one bearing my name.
-- Mary Oliver

17 April 2008

This is what I'm counting down toward

This morning even before I opened my eyes I knew that it was raining. The gray light managed to leak under my eyelids enough to tell me it was raining. And cold. And windy. And winter-like. It's April.

So, for a few brief moments I decided to lay in my bed with my eyes closed and imagine the very best place I would rather be. Here's what I got:

That moment when you awake in a tent, the sun warming the dew-sided nylon, and you shift enough to see the pillowy forms of a friend or two still drooling into their mummy bags. Your nose and cheeks cool from the blue mountain air that's filling your tent dome. Your hips bones remind you that you're now an intimate friend of this particular spot of ground. Brushing your hands along the tent-side, little droplets soak through and dampen your fingers. Necessities nest around you - socks and shoes and bags and headlamps and sandals and blankets and friends. And the sun comes through the zippers. If someone has woken before you, the dim smoke of fire begins to rise in pale shafts over the site, and if you're even luckier, they've started the coffee.

15 April 2008

"Do something pretty while you can
Don't fall asleep"
here

14 April 2008

“I saw, to my horror, an artfully worn, older-than-me copy of ‘Proust’ by Samuel Beckett.” That, Burroughs claims, was a deal breaker. “If there existed a more hackneyed, achingly obvious method of telegraphing one’s education, literary standards and general intelligence, I couldn’t imagine it.”
Um, yeah, so after my 48-hour imaginary fling with the handsome, young, Kierkegaard- and-critical-theory spouting Irish philosopher guy who spoke at our academic conference this weekend, I'm feeling sheepish at how precisely this article pegs my kind!

Sunday kinda felt like this

"Experts estimate that, by 10 p.m. Tuesday night, Blume had survived exposure to approximately 1,700 advertising images of epic banality, at least 35 emotionless interactions with complete strangers without making any real human contact, and more than 25,000 moments of soul-crushing inner emptiness throughout the almost day-long struggle. In addition, he also surmounted the onslaught of more than 150 separate anxiety-producing forces, including credit card debt, weight gain, hair loss, sexual inferiority, loneliness, a dead-end job, geographical isolation from extended family, virus-laden spam, the need to keep his cell phone charged, in-store Muzak, mortality, mounting laundry and dishes, his cable bill, indefinable longing, fear of terrorism, online gossip, the unavoidable certainty of his own unimportance, nostalgia for a past that never was, severe lower-back pain, and general ennui."
Thanks, Onion, for keeping things in perspective!

10 April 2008

This just makes me laugh


I got this from my newest link friend, Amanda, - bringing my total of links to people teaching high school English to 4, not counting my two non-blogging high school English teaching buddies. Man, maybe I should expand my friend circle.

08 April 2008

Thoughts on Politics, inspired by my Rhetoric students

Since, despite all my better judgments about keeping my blog a neutral space, I've already begun to show my political colors a bit, I am going to venture out on a limb and share some of the thoughts I've been thinking about this past month or so. As Jane Austen once disclaimed, take these as the thoughts of "a partial, prejudiced and ignorant historian."

Much of what's influenced my thinking is that my Rhetoric class these days is decidedly not a politically neutral zone. This week we dive into analyzing political language (I admit my grateful indebtedness to Hugh Rank's materials on the subject), and talk about nationalism, patriotism, propaganda, and language. If you think these are theoretical subjects, I dare you to have these conversations in rooms with students, some of whose grandparents were deported to Siberia by the Soviets, sitting next to other students whose grandparents were the deport-ers, but who now constitute a scorned under-class. Students who are passionately pro-West Ukrainians sitting next to their own countrymen who'd rather see Ukraine maintain close ties to Russia. This is the environment in which it is really interesting to ask, "what is the difference between having a healthy sense of national pride and ethnic identification, and crossing the line into propagandistic rhetoric?"

Like 21st century citizens everywhere, most of these students are already entrenched in cynicism toward elected officials. (And I can't fault them, given the levels of corruption and mismanagement that many of their home countries have endured). However, I'm not sure if it's a logical outgrowth of this cynicism, but this same group of students also tend to approach social problems with the argument that "the government should..." (fill in the blank). Maybe it's an outgrowth of our continually globalizing culture, but the answer to most of the issues they are currently writing about (global warming, evil plastic surgery, the death penalty, euthanasia. Sigh.) is that ALL people EVERYwhere should DO something. This means "the government should..." (fix everything!).

I have been trying to get them to think about what problems are actually LOCAL, and perhaps even solvable/approachable without waiting for national or transnational governmental agencies (the almighty EU) to intervene. In short, I want them to see themselves as full-fledged political agents. As citizens.

This is old, old fashioned thinking. This is belief in self-determinism and self-governance. It is not something that has not been in the vocabulary or mindset of people in this part of the world for very long. Heck, I think it's probably not much in the mindset of folks in large federal representative republics (*ahem*). Wendell Berry puts it this way:

"Properly speaking, global thinking is not possible. Those who have 'thought globally' (and among them the most successful have been imperial governments and multinational corporations) have done so by means of simplifications too extreme and oppressive to merit the name of though. Global thinkers have been and will be dangerous people... Global thinking can only be statistical. Its shallowness is exposed by the least intention to do something. Unless one is willing to be destructive on a very large scale, one cannot do something expect locally, in a small place. " ("Out of your car, Off your horse" in his book Sex, Economy, Freedom, & Community)

Whenever I am tempted to get cynical about American politics (and talk radio can get one there fairly quickly), I remember that this concept of self-determinism (not the "pull yourself up by your bootstraps" individualistic notion, but the collective will of communities working together) IS still remembered and occasionally practiced in American society. It is a very simple idea that, if something is wrong and we don't like it, we can either elect different people to do the job or simply take care of it ourselves, make change, and evolve.

So, in the end, my current attraction to a certain candidate running for president right now grows out of this old fashioned value. A good essay I read about it recently puts it this way:

"[Obama] is engaged in something not seen on the national stage for a very long time. Yet it is also a deeply familiar endeavour that most Americans would find recognisable from school history lessons. Obama emerges directly from a powerful radical tradition in US politics which is embedded in its founding ideology - classical republicanism....

The core of republican philosophy is an appreciation of the need to constantly restore and return the locus of sovereignty, of power, to the people themselves, away from those institutions and interests that capture and hold it, and thereby keep the body politic, and freedom, alive.

This, the very essence of democracy, is not secured by elections but by the activities and associations through which citizens engage in the public sphere. If citizens wish to live as a free people, the struggle to obtain (or simply maintain) political freedoms must be engaged on anew by each generation"

And if you don't think that "the locus of sovereignty, of power" NEEDS to be returned to the people (and the Congress itself), I challenge you not to listen to this broadcast and not feel the hairs on your neck rise up in defense of "separation of powers" and "the rule of law."

Both politically and spiritually speaking, I want my students to learn what it is to live as "free people." And inasmuch as I am congregational in my theology, I am anti-authoritarian in my politics. It's been fun to see these ideas cohering across conversations, readings and thoughts in the past few weeks. I'm hopeful that the result of all this, for myself and for my students, will be, regardless of elections and campaigns, lives that are more invested in the communities around us and dedication to serving the needs of our neighbors.

05 April 2008

Quite possibly the best news I've heard in awhile...



Considering my orbits around Denver and Msp/St.Paul, odds are looking up. (Thanks)

01 April 2008

"Is she bright, so well-read?
Are there books, are there novels, by her bed?
Is she the sort you've always said
could satisfy your head?"

- "Jealousy", Natalie Merchant

In honor of April being National Poetry Month (as if I needed an excuse)

Briefly it Enters, and Briefly Speaks
By Jane Kenyon

I am the blossom pressed in a book,
found again after two hundred years….

I am the maker, the lover, and the keeper….

When the young girl who starves
sits down to a table
she will sit beside me….

I am food on the prisoner’s plate….

I am water rushing to the wellhead,
filling the pitcher until it spills….

I am the patient gardener
of the dry and weedy garden….

I am the stone step,
the latch, and the working hinge….

I am the heart contracted by joy…
the longest hair, white
before the rest….

I am there in the basket of fruit
presented to the widow….

I am the musk rose opening
unattended, the fern on the boggy summit….

I am the one whose love
overcomes you, already with you
when you think to call my name….