Life isn't fair... why haven't I learned that 'til now?

It's been yet another interesting week... I feel I've had enough of those! Actually, I can feel things winding down, and other than copy-editing my thesis, there's not much left for me to do school-wise. It's hard to believe that I'll have completed my Master's degree less than two weeks from now. (Coloradoans reading this, you're invited to party with me the evening of May 13th).

That said, I was thrown into another semi-funk this week as I recieved two more letters from jobs I'd applied for in Colorado, telling me, "good luck with your career goals, but we aren't interested in you at this time." Now, I am almost positively sure that I'm heading to Lithuania next year, but still. I wanted the options, you know. I wanted that feeling of affirmation that, indeed, all my hard and life-long work is actually going to one day put food on my table.

It really does feel like I've been fed some lies since jumping on the great American treadmill that is school and college and whatnot. You're told from the time you're young that if you work hard, get good grades, follow the rules, earn the scholarships, go the extra mile, polish the resume, yada, yada, you will eventually be showered with all the material goodness and security that America has to offer.

Can you see the battle raging in my soul? There is this huge giant of entitlement that seems to have set up camp in my brain/heart somewhere along the way. And now, the huge giant is hungry and tired, and is demanding cash.

Meanwhile, Jesus is saying things like, "what does it profit a man or woman if they gain the whole world, but lose their soul?"